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always smiling?

I sometimes find myself afraid to show my smile to the world. Covering it up when I laugh, posing for pictures with the most serious of faces. But why? Why am I so scared to smile? To show people how I feel? 
Why is it that I think my smile is weird and why do I get so embarrassed when people say they can hear and identity my laughter a room away? 
These all seem like good things, but sometimes I become over aware of my surroundings and all of a sudden all I’m paying attention to is me. 
Why is it so easy to become so caught up in what others think? Even though I know it doesn’t matter what the world and man thinks of me, I still get all caught up in it. 
Lately I’ve realized that I haven’t been asking for help. 
I’ve realized that no mater what I say or do, without the help of God I will always revert to myself. Without God, I will always believe that I am the most important person. 
I guess now I have to work on trusting him. And, now I have a new reason to smile. And I won’t hide it at all.

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