Perfectingmyinnereeyore

Over the past few months I’ve been going through a lot. A lot has changed and it’s been hard. A few weeks (or maybe months I don’t really remember) ago I was introduced to this verse and it meaning really hit me. I’d read the verse before, and I even had some of it memorized but it was in this rough time that God really showed me what it truly meant.  Romans 8:38-39 says “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, or height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  And as I was reading this verse it hit me. It doesn’t matter what the world or the devil tries to throw at us, God is always here for us. Even In our darkest moments when there seems likes there’s no hope he’s still there. Holding our hand guiding us through. It doesn’t matter what horrible things we’ve done, or what awful things we will do in the future he lo...

You are a masterpiece. Created in GODS IMAGE. God made you just the way he wanted you. He has a plan for you and he is going to use you to do amazing things. Don’t let what the media says or what others say about you effect how you feel about yourself. It doesn’t matter who stays with you or who leaves you all alone, God is always there for you and he will never leave you or forsake you. You are precious in his sight. You are HIS child and he loves you more then you ever know. He is always there. And sometimes when it seems like he’s left you, you just have to reach out in trust, and grab ahold of him.

I first learned what long distance friendship was when I was just 11 years old, and a lot of people ask me what its like. It’s a daily reminder that the world is bigger than your bubble. It’s a reminder that just because you don’t see someone everyday, or once a week, or even once every 6 months, it doesn’t make them less of a friend. You learn to cherish the time you have together to the fullest. You say “I miss you” more than you ever imagined you’d say in a lifetime in a single phone call. You learn patience. And I’d be lying if I said it was easy. There are times where you aren’t able to talk to each other for weeks. Where you have no clue what’s happening in the others life. But there are also the times where the phone calls and face times go on for hours on end. The times where you cant get off the phone, when you don’t want to say goodbye. The times when something horrible happens and you know they’ll be there for you. The laughs are truer, the friendships are deeper, the dista...

I sometimes find myself afraid to show my smile to the world. Covering it up when I laugh, posing for pictures with the most serious of faces. But why? Why am I so scared to smile? To show people how I feel?  Why is it that I think my smile is weird and why do I get so embarrassed when people say they can hear and identity my laughter a room away?  These all seem like good things, but sometimes I become over aware of my surroundings and all of a sudden all I’m paying attention to is me.  Why is it so easy to become so caught up in what others think? Even though I know it doesn’t matter what the world and man thinks of me, I still get all caught up in it.  Lately I’ve realized that I haven’t been asking for help.  I’ve realized that no mater what I say or do, without the help of God I will always revert to myself. Without God, I will always believe that I am the most important person.  I guess now I have to work on trusting him. And, now I have...

   We are a generation controlled by what the internet says we should look and feel like. In Gods eyes each of us is just the way we were meant to be. Each of us is wanted and loved.  No one is better then anyone else. We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Each of us is priceless.     Every day girls are told that they need to eat less, work out more, wear this and read that. And so very often, I'm swept into those lies.  So often I am believing what the public thinks of me instead of what my Heavenly Father thinks of me. I am his creation created for good. All that I need to remember is that I am beautiful to my creator and that's all that matters.

    I started this blog so I could have a place to journal my journey conquering depression. But I haven’t really done that.. written down my journey that is.   I guess I’ve just been spitting out the random things that pop into my head on a day to day (ok so not that often but you get the idea) basis. It’s been just thrown together and disjointed and I don’t know if that’s gonna change cause to be honest thats how my brain works.      But I’m about to move. And I know that it’s gonna be hard. It was last time I moved and this time I’m leaving more and going farther. I don’t know how often I’m gonna be on here, it might be one a week or month, or three times a day. It just depends. I plan to write about my struggles and heartbreaks, my joys and victory’s. And don’t worry, I’ll still be spitting out randomness. That’s kinda in my DNA.. 

   Texas is the only place I've ever lived. When my family moved to Dallas, it was hard. I was 5 hours away from my childhood home and all my childhood friends. But moving to Tennessee feels like moving across the world. I'm having to pick up everything and move to a completely new place with new people so very far from everything I've ever known. And to make it better, moving means saying goodbye. And I hate goodbyes.    I become close to people very quick. Its just who I am. And becoming close to people quickly means I've had lots of time to get to know each other which means saying goodbyes kinda sucks..    In this day and age all we have to do is shoot out a text or post a picture on Instagram and you are instantly connected to pretty much any and everyone in the world. So why is saying goodbye so hard? Why do I feel sick to my stomach seeing people for the last time?     For me, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose people. That people who...

    We are often tempted to portray a "edited" version of ourselves on social media. Even when we post "reality" pictures on our Instagram or Facebook we still tend to edit it. Reading and re-reading what we say.      Social media makes it easy to portray a perfect life. It is so easy to post something, leaving out the hard stuff. It also makes it easy to become jealous because it seems like everyone else's life is so perfect and no one else has the same problems as you.     The idea of connecting over social media isn't new, it's the concept of  friendship that has changed. Friends used to be the people you saw every week at church or at school but more and more often, friends are becoming the people we talk to over that internet or that one kid that starts liking your pictures. Friends are now becoming people we have never meet.      Social media is taking over our lives and we aren't stoping it. We aren't...